Introduction
In the present age most of us are experiencing an existential isolation . In this essay we try to understand this sense of isolation and how Vedanta's universal connection can theoretically hold a counter narrative enabling a broader perspective to our lives.
Pessoa's Reflection
In "The Book of Disquiet," Fernando Pessoa's reflection captures deep existential angst and the search for identity and meaning in a seemingly indifferent and chaotic universe. His poetic imagery vividly conveys the sense of being lost in a void, struggling to find a sense of self and purpose. This existential crisis is common for many, and we must delve into this subject deeper to find meaningful answers. First, let's read Pessoa's quote:
Quote by Fernando Pessoa: "Today, suddenly, I reached an absurd but unerring conclusion. In a moment of enlightenment, I realized that I'm nobody, absolutely nobody. When the lightning flashed, I saw that what I had thought to be a city was in fact a deserted plain and, in the same sinister light that revealed me to myself, there seemed to be no sky above it. I was robbed of any possibility of having existed before the world. If I was ever reincarnated, I must have done so without myself, without a self to reincarnate. I am the outskirts of some non-existent town, the long-winded prologue to an unwritten book. I'm nobody, nobody. I don't know how to feel or think or love. I'm a character in a novel as yet unwritten, hovering in the air and undone before I've even existed, amongst the dreams of someone who never quite managed to breathe life into me. I'm always thinking, always feeling, but my thoughts lack all reason, my emotions all feeling. I'm falling through a trapdoor, through infinite, infinitous space, in a directionless, empty fall. My soul is a black maelstrom, a great madness spinning about a vacuum, the swirling of a vast ocean around a hole in the void, and in the waters, more like whirlwinds than waters, float images of all I ever saw or heard in the world: houses, faces, books, boxes, snatches of music and fragments of voices, all caught up in a sinister, bottomless whirlpool. And I, I myself, am the centre that exists only because the geometry of the abyss demands it; I am the nothing around which all this spins, I exist so that it can spin, I am a centre that exists only because every circle has one. I, I myself, am the well in which the walls have fallen away to leave only viscous slime. I am the centre of everything surrounded by the great nothing. And it is as if hell itself were laughing within me but, instead of the human touch of diabolical laughter, there's the mad croak of the dead universe, the circling cadaver of physical space, the end of all worlds drifting blackly in the wind, misshapen, anachronistic, without the God who created it, without God himself who spins in the dark of darks, impossible, unique, everything. If only I could think! If only I could feel!”
Understanding the Concepts
Absurd Conclusion and Enlightenment
- Absurd Realization: Pessoa describes a sudden realization that he is "nobody." This moment of enlightenment reveals a stark, empty reality.
- Deserted Plain: What he thought was a bustling city is actually a barren landscape, symbolizing the emptiness and lack of meaning in his life.
Lack of Existence
- No Prior Existence: He feels as though he has no past or continuity, even in the concept of reincarnation. If he were reincarnated, it would be without a sense of self.
- Non-Existent Town: He likens himself to being on the outskirts of a town that doesn't exist, suggesting he is peripheral to any real existence or meaning.
Lack of Authentic Emotion and Thought
- Unwritten Novel: He sees himself as a character in a story that has never been written, existing only in the imagination of someone who couldn't bring him to life.
- Directionless Fall: His thoughts and feelings are chaotic and lack substance, like falling through a void without direction or purpose.
Central Void
- Maelstrom of Madness: His soul is a chaotic, swirling void, filled with fragmented images and memories, emphasizing his sense of disconnection and lack of coherent identity.
- Centre of Nothing: He perceives himself as a necessary center for this chaos, existing only because every circle needs a center, yet he feels like nothing substantial.
Cosmic Despair
- Hellish Laughter: He feels as though the universe is mocking him, but in a cold, impersonal way. The laughter isn't human; it's the indifferent sound of a lifeless universe.
- End of Worlds: He envisions a universe devoid of God or meaning, a dark, drifting expanse without purpose or creation.
Longing for Authenticity
- Desire to Think and Feel: Despite his existential despair, he longs for genuine thought and emotion, a sense of real existence that eludes him.
Comparing Pessoa's Reflection to Vedantic Thought
Similarities to Vedantic Thought
- Illusion of Self (Maya): In Vedanta, the individual ego or self (Atman) is considered an illusion (Maya). Pessoa’s realization that he is "nobody" aligns with the Vedantic idea that the ego or individual identity is not the true self.
- Search for True Identity: Vedanta teaches that the ultimate goal is to recognize and unite with Brahman, the ultimate reality or universal consciousness. Pessoa's sense of falling through a void and his longing to think and feel authentically can be seen as a quest for a deeper understanding of self and existence.
Divergences from Vedantic Thought
- Tone of Despair vs. Liberation: Vedantic enlightenment is associated with liberation, peace, and bliss. Pessoa’s tone is one of despair and emptiness, which contrasts with the serene outcomes described in Vedantic enlightenment.
- Cosmic Order vs. Cosmic Absurdity: Vedanta posits a cosmos with order and meaning. Pessoa describes a chaotic, indifferent universe, aligning more with existential nihilism.
- Existential Isolation vs. Universal Connection: Vedanta emphasizes the interconnectedness of all individual souls as part of a greater whole. Pessoa’s feeling of being a "centre of nothing" highlights a profound sense of isolation and disconnection.
Swami Sarvapriyananda's Perspective
In the video "Conscious Reality: Unraveling the Mind | Swami Sarvapriyananda & Donald Hoffman," a participant asked Swami Sarvapriyananda if Pessoa’s quote can be reflected in Vedantic terms. Here's a breakdown of his points:
Nature of Consciousness
- Consciousness as Fundamental: According to Vedanta, consciousness (Chaitanya or Atman) is the fundamental reality. It is not dependent on the mind or body and remains constant irrespective of their states.
Misunderstanding of States
- Ordinary Perception of States: Without understanding the true nature of consciousness, states like deep sleep, anesthesia, coma, and death seem to be periods of non-existence or blankness.
- Appearance vs. Reality: These states, while appearing blank, are still experienced by consciousness.
Enlightened Perspective
- Beyond Mental Activity: For the enlightened, these states are not seen as voids. Consciousness remains present even when the mind is inactive.
- Presentation of Nothing: To the enlightened, states like deep sleep or anesthesia are simply periods where usual mental activities are not occurring.
Practical Implication
- Unchanging Consciousness: Consciousness itself does not cease when the mind shuts down in deep sleep, anesthesia, or death. These states are different experiences within the unchanging field of consciousness.
- Enlightenment and Awareness: When the mind reactivates, the enlightened recognize that underlying consciousness was continuously present during mental inactivity.
Conclusion
Swami Sarvapriyananda emphasizes that consciousness is ever-present and does not depend on the mind. The unenlightened may perceive states like deep sleep or death as blanks or non-existence, but the enlightened recognize them as different manifestations within the constant presence of consciousness.
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